‘Stay out of my moist breath zone’: Covid-19 anthem takes the drool out of school

It is regularly cited as the most hated word in the English language and even Canadian prime minister Justin Trudeau has visibly struggled while using it. But now the word “moist” is being deployed for good – in a song written by a New Zealand school principal that aims to helps children observe social distancing guidelines.

Shirley Șerban of Lake Brunner school in the South Island penned the song Moist Breath Zone as a health and safety message for students returning to school after the Covid-19 lockdown.

A three-and-a-half-minute music video posted on YouTube features two dogs, two hugging chimps, a yawning llama, a coughing kitten and a sleepy Staffordshire terrier among others.

“We’re back at school, it’s really cool, to all be here together. We made it through and I missed you, the country’s getting better,” the song begins.

“I’ll share my news, but my food’s for me alone. If I smell your breath, I will go sit on my own. Always wash your hands – make them soapy, full of foam.”

“And stay out of my moist breath zone!”

A moist breath zone is the area in which you can feel or smell someone else’s breath.

The song has been welcomed by New Zealand’s Ministry of Education, which called Șerban’s effort “fantastic”.

The word “moist” has a chequered history in popular culture. Last month Trudeau shook his head in embarrassment when he accidentally used the word during a press conference outside his house.

“It protects others more than it protects you because it prevents you from breathing or speaking … moistly on them,’” Trudeau said, before looking very awkward.

“What a terrible image,” he said.

New Zealand children will return to school on Monday after seven weeks studying from home under the country’s strict lockdown.